Before the argument, the homework battle or the big decision: a minute to check the basics.
Check in
Which of these is true right now?
Nothing ticked yet. Tick any that apply. If none do, you may be bored, unwell, worried, too hot or too cold, or in need of a change. Try a glass of water, some fresh air and a few minutes of quiet, then check again.
Hungry.Eat something with some protein or fibre, such as toast, fruit with nuts, or yoghurt, and have a drink of water.Offer a snack and a drink before talking about anything hard. Keep one in the bag for after school.
Angry.Step away for a few minutes. Breathe out slowly, move your body, then say what is underneath: worried, embarrassed, treated unfairly?Stay calm and close. Name it: "You are angry." Keep the limit ("I won't let you hit"), wait, and talk once they have settled.
Lonely.Reach out to one person, even with a short message. Spend time with others, or help someone.Spend ten minutes of undivided time together. Ask who they played with. Check for friendship or bullying problems.
Tired.Rest if you can. Postpone big decisions. Plan an earlier night and a regular bedtime this week.Lower the demands for now. Keep the evening calm and screens off before bed. If tiredness is constant, talk to the school or your GP.
If several apply, deal with hunger and tiredness first. They are the easiest to fix and make the others worse. Then come back to what is left.
What this is, and is not
HALT is a quick prompt that began in addiction recovery and is now used in families and classrooms. It is a way of noticing that a hard moment may be partly about basic needs. It does not diagnose anything. Read the HALT technique for more.
If you or your child feel low, anxious or lonely most of the time, or you are worried about safety, speak to a doctor or see support lines.
