Helping the child who finds school difficult

Teachers and parents sometimes talk about a "problem student". Children are not problems; they have problems, and some of those are difficult to see. The helpful question is not "what is wrong with this child?" but "what is getting in the way?"

Signs to notice - Frequent outbursts, refusal, or running away from tasks. - Withdrawal, silence, or seeming not to care. - Complaints of tummy ache or headaches, or avoiding school. - Falling behind, or sudden changes from how the child used to be. - Difficulty with friendships.

Look for causes - Learning: unrecognised difficulties with reading, language, attention or maths. See psychoeducational testing and response to intervention. - Communication and sensory needs: including autism. See autism. - Health: hearing, vision, sleep, hunger or pain. Try the HALT check-in. - Emotional: anxiety, low mood, bereavement. - Social: bullying, friendship trouble. - Home: changes, conflict or hardship. Some children carry serious stress. See adverse childhood experiences.

A functional behaviour assessment offers a structured way to work out the cause.

Talking with the child - Choose a calm, private moment. - Describe what you saw without blame: "I noticed you left the room during maths." - Ask open questions and listen. Do not expect a full answer immediately. - Say you are on their side and want to find a way that works. - Agree one small thing to try.

A plan 1. Share information between school and home, without blame. 2. Pick one or two behaviours to work on. 3. Teach the skill: how to ask for a break, calm down or ask for help. 4. Change what you can, such as seating, task length and breaks. 5. Give a trusted adult the child can go to. 6. Praise the small steps. 7. Review after a few weeks.

The EEF's guidance on improving behaviour and the Department for Education's Behaviour in schools both stress knowing your pupils and teaching positive behaviour as well as setting limits.

Working with school staff Counsellors, learning support staff, the SENCo and educational psychologists can help. Ask for a meeting, bring examples, and keep notes. See supporting teachers.

Safety If a child shows signs of abuse or neglect, or talks about harming themselves, act at once. Speak to the school's designated safeguarding lead or a helpline; see the ACE questionnaire page for support lines.

Hope Children are resilient when they have at least one steady, caring adult. The Harvard Center on the Developing Child describes how supportive relationships help children cope with adversity.

Helping the child who finds school difficult

Signs to notice - Frequent outbursts, refusal, or running away from tasks. - Withdrawal, silence, or seeming not to care. - Complaints of tummy ache or headaches, or avoiding school. - Falling behind, or sudden changes from how the child used to be. - Difficulty with friendships.

Working with school staff Counsellors, learning support staff, the SENCo and educational psychologists can help. Ask for a meeting, bring examples, and keep notes. See supporting teachers.

Safety If a child shows signs of abuse or neglect, or talks about harming themselves, act at once. Speak to the school's designated safeguarding lead or a helpline; see the ACE questionnaire page for support lines.

Hope Children are resilient when they have at least one steady, caring adult. The Harvard Center on the Developing Child describes how supportive relationships help children cope with adversity.

Sources and further reading