Profound Gratitude

This weekend I am celebrating my birthday and also completing another {life} coaching class.  The focus of this class is being in the present moment.  Last night's surprise, intimate gathering for my birthday gave me a fantastic opportunity to practice being in the moment.  I didn't waste the opportunity.

When I woke up this morning, I thought, why not continue to be in the moment?  Here it goes.

At this moment, I feel a profound sense of gratitude.  The image that comes to mind is the Grand Canyon.  Every time I've seen the Grand Canyon in person I am in total awe.  Could it really be that vast?  Expansive?  Magnificent?  Radiant?  Astonishing?  And quiet?

The gratitude I also feel is related to abundance.  It goes on and on and deep and far reaching.  I'm standing right now and I feel all my emotions shooting through my feet like roots of a tree in a time-elapse video. This profound sense of gratitude is literally anchoring me to the earth.

From this vantage point, I am seeing possibility.  And, holy moly, my eyes cannot believe what they see.   If you were here with me (in my kitchen), I would call you over and say, do you see that?  Do you see?

.....I just released a gigantic sigh......

It's like what you want.  What anyone wants.   And what the world needs is right there.   Feeling this evokes calmness, delight, and awe.

....Is this a dream?.....

Oh, there it is.  The ugly side.  The this-really-is-a-dream-side-and-doesn't-exist side.  The side that likes to sabotage moments or thoughts like these.  Gosh forbid there is this beautiful land of possibility and gratitude and abundance.  What if there isn't enough?  Or I fail?  Or get hurt?  Or go unliked?  What then?  I'm shaking my head.  Again?

....That stupid story again?  Ugh.

This is my birthday.  I am over four decades old.  I didn't invite the saboteurs and their stupid story to this party.  They are not welcomed at the Grand Canyon in my mind.  This is my land (and yours?) of possibility.  I am grateful they remind me how fragile life is.  I'm grateful those saboteurs show me how high the stakes are. But, they don't serve me anymore.  In fact, they box me in.

So, right now.  In this moment.  I am noticing a take-back sense.  A "this is my life" feeling.  A "do you see this?" feeling.   A profound wave of gratitude that is as exuberant and as expansive as the Grand Canyon, indeed.

...If you could see me in person right now, you'd see this inquisitive and mischievous look on my face with a gigantic splash of awe.....

I like the mischievous part best,